reminiscing.life.somewhere 

Vol 1

Sambhav saree

I lived as a paying guest during my first year of college in Delhi. It was a small room on the terrace of a house and I shared it with a roommate who was elder than me. My mother was visiting me and she was living with us in the same room. On the morning of the day she arrived she went to attend a funeral, someone we knew had passed away. After the first half of the day she returned to us for lunch and post lunch she took a nap. In the evening there was a wedding which my mother was supposed to go to. She got up in the early evening, had a cup of tea, and was about to leave for the wedding when my then-roommate asked my mother about her changing into a different saree for the wedding. To this, my mother's reply was: Beta, hum sambhav se rehte hai, na ghum me zyada ghum; na Khushi me zyada Khushi (I am a person who has the same outlook on both sadness and joy). She walked out of the house in the same saree in which she had started her day. We fondly grew to call it her "sambhav" (same emotion) attire.

Murdo se kya Darna

We I was about 15 we lost my cousin grandfather. He had no kids of his own and when he was no more my parents bought his deceased body to our house. It was late at night, and my father was standing outside the house weeping while my Mother did all the preparations on the body to keep it going till we had other arrangements and relatives come over. While she was at it, she took a break and went upstairs to her room to tend to something leaving me alone with his body downstairs. I, being young, got extremely disturbed sitting there so I ran up to her and told her about it. I expressed my feelings and informed her that I was not okay being downstairs alone and wanted her to be there as well. Listening to this my mother's immediate reaction was "Beta, murdo se kya Darna, insaano se daro" (Child, what's the point of being scared by a dead body, it is the alive humans you should be more scared of)

Uske Ma baap ne nahi sikhaya

My mother used to pick us up from school daily and then we'd drive to my brother's school to receive him. Once on our way back, we met with an accident. There was a boy who was driving a scooter and he suddenly appeared in front of our car. My Mother immediately asked our driver to stop the car and got off and gave the boy two tight slaps, and as life would have had it he was a senior to my bother at his school. Obviously, he was very embarrassed and he immediately ducked and hid. Once he was at safe distance from this incident, he asked my mother why she did such a thing. This was her reply: "Uske Ma Baap ne usko nahi sikhaya, hum hi sikha denge" (His parents didn't teach him a lesson, I should do that on their behalf).

Hum kya bole, humari beti khud moti hai

I was living in Chennai for almost two years of my life, and sometime during that duration, my mother was visiting me. I lived with two more girls at that point in time. A family friend of mine was due to get married and my mother brought up the wedding in front of one of my roommates. She then went on to share photos of the bride and remarked on how she was overweight. Post that her immediate reaction was: "Hum kon hote hai bolne wale, humari khud ki beti aisi hai to" (Who am I to comment on someone when my daughter is also fat."

To see more of these stories visit my Instagram page at- reminiscing.life.somewhere

Stars

As a little kid, you believe. You believe in your parents, friends, and siblings. I plan to chronicle a few of those beliefs which were passed on to me. 

While you read this I hope you are able to relive childhood innocence and all that comes with it. 

As a younger sibling and sister, my elder sister was my world. Those who know us will vouch for it. She has been everything to me, my guide, mentor, friend, confidante and you wouldn't believe but even my doctor! As we were growing in the 90's there is a particular brand of chips called Uncle Chipps

These chips were special, and they still are. They had a tingling spice towards the end of the packet. Once you reached the end you'd be able to dig your finger in the wee corner of the packet and stick that spice onto your finger and lick it. We called them "stars". While we were both equally fond of them, my sister being the elder one often got more "stars" than I did. But how I waited for them. 

This story is about one fine afternoon when I was put to a nap and my sister was awake. I got up to being told that an uncle visited us and gave a PACKET full of "stars" to my sister. I distinctly recall the regret I had as I was asleep and missed the opportunity. 

I fell for her story and this regret lived with me for a couple of years later as well.

After nearly 3 hearty years of college, I learnt/saw/experienced-

• Muslin, although cheap, is a pretty material.
• I have forgotten nearly all I learnt at school.
• Your friends were right. They are nearly always right.
• Take chances. Always, always, take chances.
• It is possible to survive an entire day on a muffin and a frappe. Sometimes, just the muffin.
• All those habits you thought you were going to kick? Nice try.
• Jury members, regardless of what department they originate from, are dangerous creatures.
• It is possible to stay up till 2. Every night.
• Seeing a sewing machine will always bring back fond memories.
• Don’t come to college with the expectation that people are any more mature than they were in high school. They aren’t. Pray that they will better with time.
• Never say never.
• You will miss people with every fiber of your being and not realize it till you hug them after months of absence and remember why you liked them in the first place.
• There’s no graceful way to eat a khan chacha roll.
• There will be students in all classes who will do better than you on everything. It does not mean they are actually better than you. Numbers on an assignment have no relevance to passion. It’s okay, to have picked what you needed from your work. Just so you know.
• Nothing will make you make you feel more like a student than when you’re fishing through your wallet for spare change so you can buy a coffee.
• You know nothing mostly. But you also know absolutely everything.

• Never, ever, EVER turn down free food.
• Remember money? Its just a memory now.
• No matter how broke, you are never broke enough that you don’t agree to on a trip.
•  When you go out of your way to so desperately look for something, it will go out of its way to make sure you don’t find it.
• It’s okay to cry.
• Your problems aren’t as big as you make them out to be in your head. Doesn’t mean you should disregard them completely. Just know you don’t have it that bad.
• Know that some people don’t realize that it’s possible to love someone in different ways.
• There is no set time to get drunk, rather get high.
• The ones you loved and thought had left were just taking their time to find a way back.
• One of the best assignments you’ve done all year will receive a failed grade because you were over the word count. It’s an excellent paper. Deal with the shitty grade.
• Take a look at the people you last spoke to (via text, gmail, phone, etc) before heading off to bed. These people are who you really care about. These people are important.
• Just because someone is good to you, does not mean they are good for you.
• Saying “fuck it” does work. On most day atleast it does work.
• Everything worth knowing leaves scars.
• There is something about the applause from the back of the class that makes you swell with pride. On most days atleast.
• Procrastinating on your submissions is a public activity.

• When in doubt, cite it.
• The friendships you suddenly make at the end of the year, standing in line to buy coffee or over piles of assignments or at some exam, are more genuine than you give them credit for.
• Always tell the truth. Even if it’s dirty and unpleasant. Do it. If the person doesn’t thank you then, they’ll thank you later, to your face or silently to themselves.
• Always return.

no need to say good bye!

So much has come to pass in this time, both for the good ‘n bad ‘n beautiful ‘n ugly.. whatever be it. I’m a happier, better person tonight ‘n that is all that really counts.

I have missed this place J

Well,

How is one supposed to respond to the news of her sisters wedding?

Be happy? Be sad? Be neutral? Be glad? Be pleased? Be thrilled? Be tearful? Be content? Or be whatever the fuck the way the world wants you to react.

I sit here 'n feel so helpless.. so much comes rushing back. 

you made me the person I am today. 

I think I’m happy, will grow to be nicer to her.. maybe give her all she asks of me. Work for her. Get her water, do her laundry, help her out, not make her stuff mine, not make her cook, steal lesser from her, just be nicer.

Ah! I give up. I know I can be rest assured that at the end I’m her priority. It doesn’t go beyond that. Well I can add my brother too.

I don't want to return!

i HATE these times when i am about to go back...

everyone becomes good all of a sudden.. It gives me the same creepy feeling I had when I went back to school after a vacation! :|

I am allowed to sleep for as late as i feel like.Given total guest treatment. bought what i lay my finger on.

Mamma becomes all the more nice, bhai doesn't fight 'n to top it all starts working for me! Dadi treats me with utmost care, she will cook for me and make me sit with her for hours.

Papa too, carries on with his question- "do you want any thing more?" or even better- "buy my daughter whatever she asks for".... 

*SIGH*

'n the next minute that starts happening too..  

tonight he repeatedly went on ranting the fact that tomorrow night there will be no one to take out for ice cream. I was so nostalgic sitting in the back seat thanking God it was dark. 

:'(

these are the people that make me entirely, 'n going back to the life where I have to fend for myself daily becomes almost impossible.

had it not been for a certain few I would have lived on here, gladly. 

it's not unheard of...

Irritated I was, I can’t even recall why,

You looked on silently and I wouldn’t look you in the eye.

“Was it the bank, the weather or food?” came your question to me,

“Stay here today I shall serve the lunch, you just wait and see!”

I shrieked a big NO!  I’ll manage I did yell,

She just won’t let me in peace, she wouldn’t let me tell.

She gets on my nerves I mutely thought,

Not bothering about all she had taught.

“Just sit quietly there!” those words I did blow,

And once in the kitchen I felt that my anger was a show.

Finally done with the serving as I sat down with my plate,

With a look that was trying to imply that my work had been great!

The dal had no salt, and no one had complained!

I was so irritated I made my ugliest face,

Wait I’ll get it for you, she clutched her walking stick and motioned.

“NO!” I screamed this time; I could no longer take it.

“Fine”, she said getting up, and lugged to the sink,

“Why did you go?” I asked, “To get myself a drink!”

“Okay”, I said and sat there with the tasteless food;

I turned around and saw her standing there glued.

In her hand was a spoon of salt,

I felt ashamed, hugely at fault.

So many times she has tried, to do all that’s in her might,

She only has us, that is her only plight.

From now on I try, to sit beside her,

I don’t want these days to fly in a blur,

I realize why she does it all,

I will obey now on, that is my call.

go on, make the best memories.

“Will you come out tonight?” “Let’s go eat something nice” “I want to go dancing” “I just want to go for a walk!” “Please come along with me to the market” “let us go watch this movie”

"umm... okay." 

“No!” I don’t feel well. No! its too hot. No I have work. No I have to cook. No I am busy. No I am sad. No I don’t feel like. And just NO NO NO!

This post goes out to two people. Those 2 who have been taking my craziest tantrums and  the most lame excuses for nearly 2 years now.

We were sitting casually at the bank and talking. Yes, those of you who know, the spot at Vijaya bank.  It was pretty late and I sat there waiting for my sister to come. This girl happens to be a friend, a mentor and someone I have grown up with. We were just sitting discussing our lives and her newly begun work.

“So, what do you plan to do tonight?” came her question.

“Nothing! I may go out with my friends.” I replied. “though I don’t feel like” (it was one of those innumerable times when I yet again didn’t feel like going, more than feel did not realize the worth of going.)

“Hmm... any reason?”

“NO!” I felt no need to explain and she didn’t ask. I was relieved to have escaped her whys and so’s.

“do I tell you something?”

“Yeah.. “I said. Deep inside I was wishing she would not start one of her lectures yet again.

“See, had I met you 3 years back I would have never dreamt of telling you such a thing. But today as I stand at the threshold of a completely new phase of life I want to give you a piece of advice.”

“GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS, each time someone asks you to come along try to find a way to go instead of finding an excuse to escape.” “Learn to say more of YES and less of NO.” “Meet new people” “Don’t shy away.”

“I feel sad in telling you I didn’t enjoy my college years, now looking back I barely have those few friends, no one who would call me years later and remind me of something memorable that we did together. I maintained a high CGPA and always had laudable attendance.  I stayed in the good books of nearly everyone. But now I feel ashamed to have ignored those friends back then. I said so much NO to everybody that there came a stage when no one bothered to even ask. I kept myself involved in my books and bothered only about myself. In short, I missed out on living those four years. I feel guilty for those uncountable times I lied to escape them” “Now I am trying. I will not sideline my work but at the same time I shall remember that there is more to life than just work.”

“I am telling you all this just so that you realize the worth of what you are doing these days, just so that later in life when you sit back and tell people of your tales you will have enough to look back on. Life will never be measured by what all you have achieved, rather by the number of people whose lives you have touched and changed. Those people who count on you. Those who in the end will least remember you.”

“Hello, YES I am coming tonight!” “Please come and pick me up when you guys are ready.” I called up a friend and told so right away.

I had already learnt my lesson. Before it is too late I believe it will be better if I mend my ways.

P.S.- i would like to end with the lines of one of my favorite songs..

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

♥ ♥ ♥